Your Troubled Relationship: When to End It

“Any troubled relationship has a chance,” you might say. But that’s all it gets—a chance. If the partner in the relationship is abusive or controlling, it might not be worth saving, which is why there are such things as divorce and annulment. Now I’m not saying that you should just walk away from any sign of trouble in a relationship. By all means, see if it’s worth saving. But if it is you who needs saving, then you must know when to end it, though it’s never easy to take that step. There will be hurt which you will need to overcome. Here’s some help in how to get rid of the pain of moving out of a troubled relationship.

The pain felt as a result of a troubled marriage or any relationship in general, can be deep and lasting. To some extent, it can keep you from having a happy and productive life. Fortunately, there is the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tapping. It is  important when you do this work to focus on a specific event from the past. the work begins with a single clear moment or event that ultimately will be seen to be connected to many…many which may seem unrelated, but ones that all have a strong emotional response. The event does not have to be a recent one or even directly associated with the relationship that’s caused you pain, it could be something which happened way back when you were a child.

Select one event, like when you were forced by your parents to wear a shirt that looked goofy on you in front of your friends. Use EFT tapping on the memory, saying something like, “Even though I felt embarrassed, I still love and accept myself,” then move on to the next event that bothers you. Doing this work begins to uncover the underlying beliefs and decisions you may have made regarding how people treat you and how that makes you feel, even if its 40 years later. This works is always better with a certified EFT practitioner overseeing nd guiding you in the process.

In the next phase, you dispel undesirable emotions associated with the person you’re having a relationship with. Here, you may use a statement like, “Even if I have this feeling for (insert name of partner), I still love and accept myself unconditionally. Again, it’s not done in one sitting, but you will find that as you acknowledge what you are feeling, and use this work to release the intensity and reduce the emotional charge around these things,  release will be found. That’s when you can move on.